Issue #26: Cycle of Influence

Summer is now fully upon us. The sun has been coming out in full glory, injecting colour into everything and everyone. It’s beautiful, but it’s ephemeral. If we are lucky, summer here lasts about three months before the entire country gets wrapped in the thick, dark, cold blanket of the cold months. Colour is drained from every face, every façade. It is why I try to make the most out of my summers. I say yes to almost every invite, go to parties, meet lovely people, and sit in the sun as if to store enough sunlight to last me through winter. It’s why I didn’t bother publishing last week. I’ll make up for it during the cold months. My productivity definitely tanks during summer. I used to bemoan that, be hard on myself for my lack of output, but I don’t anymore. If I fail to capture the fleeting moments of summertime, if I spend my time inside my flat working on side projects, not going out to have fun, I’d regret it during winter when the cold and darkness start biting. And they bite hard.

The darkness of winter isn’t the only one I worry about, though. In fact, it pales compared to the one that lays heaviest on my heart - the gloominess of the world. I always bewail the state of our planet. The seemingly endless pain and suffering people endure. The senseless wars. The widening inequality; the way extreme wealth is juxtaposed with squalor as if to tease, to provoke, to taunt. Streets lined with opulent homes, many empty, while millions remain homeless. It doesn’t make any sense, and it makes me so angry and sad. 

There is an image I still can’t get out of my head. Some years ago, I was in Lagos on holiday. I had fun and spent money liberally. On one particular night, I had finished eating a lovely meal at HSE Gourmet with my girlfriend at the time, and we were heading back to my Airbnb. I was driving on the Lekki-Epe expressway before we were stopped by one of the countless traffic lights along that road. While I waited for the lights to signal us to move, a bunch of kids, I reckon couldn’t have been older than eight, rapped my window to get my attention. They looked tired and hungry and begged me to give them some money for food. The driver of the vehicle ahead of me rolled down their window and handed out a styrofoam plate. The kids saw it, ran towards it, took the plate, sat on the road’s median strip, and devoured the content. I was so heartbroken at the scene that I didn’t realise when I started crying. How was it fair that I had just spent tens of thousands of Naira at a restaurant, and a few miles away, kids were begging for money and fighting over food scraps? I drove away from that sad scene, but the image was impressed upon my heart. It weighed heavy. It travelled with me, took space like a co-passenger.

I still think about those kids to this day. I wonder how they’re doing. I pray they get a chance to turn their lives around. I wish I could have done more to help them, but I remind myself that I can’t help everyone. It stings, but that is the harsh reality of life. Stephen Covey’s Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence, an idea he discusses in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, helps me manage how I deal with that harsh reality. I didn’t particularly like the book, but the model of the two circles was fascinating, and I find it very useful. The first circle, the circle of concern, includes the many things we are concerned about — the state of the world, racism, global warming etc. The actual list will depend on the individual, but they are the things we have very little influence over, things we have very little power to change. Oh, how I wish I could snap a finger like Thanos and poverty, homelessness, and pain would disappear. Oh, how I wish. But I don’t have such powers. 

My powers are limited, but limits don’t mean they are useless. I can still change a lot of things. The things I can change, things I can influence are in my circle of influence. It is a much smaller circle than the circle of concern, but it is where I can get more bang for my buck. The key is to focus one’s energy on those things one can influence. If one does that, the idea is that the circle of influence starts to increase, and others will see one as an effective person, consequently increasing one’s power and influence. Conversely, if one spends all energy on things one cannot directly influence, one’s energy will be drained, which has a negative effect of rubbing off on other people, shrinking one’s power and influence. Positivity engenders positivity, and negativity engenders negativity.

Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern

I am concerned about war, but I am not influential enough to end them. What I can do with my influence is to maybe donate resources to organisations working with innocent victims of senseless and needless wars. I am concerned about homelessness and poverty and do things to effect change within my circle of influence. I have enjoyed cycling as an exercise activity for the past two years. I even cycled to Oxford for fun. I received a lot of support and words of encouragement from people. People asked me to do more trips and record videos, so I decided to capture all that attention and channel it towards a cause I am passionate about. I decided to raise money for charity by cycling from London to Brighton. My cycle of influence. The charity I am raising for is Crisis UK. They provide valuable support for homeless people. On September 11, 2022, I will take on the rough, undulating 88km-route. It will be physically demanding, but I am excited to contribute a bit to solving the homelessness crisis. My pain will pale compared to the pain those that unfortunately have no homes constantly face. If you would love to donate to the cause, please use this donation link. 

Naysayers may see this as ineffective, as a waste of time. While I agree that the world’s problems cannot be solved by individuals, I believe that we still have a lot of power as individuals. We can make life a bit better for a lot more people. We cannot afford to give up. We have to keep trying.